The question has become: What do I do with the rest of the year?

Putting together ConBravo! hasn’t been an easy job, partially because we have no idea what we’re doing, but mostly because we’re really bad at time management.

I should rephrase that.

I am bad at time management.

The plans for ConBravo! began last February, when Larry and I stepped into his apartment after Con-G and got to talking. Remember kids, talking is dangerous. It leads to ideas, and ideas become plans. One you have a plan, there’s no going back; the plan must come together. It must be carried out. That’s when endless nights of sobbing, aching horror begin, where your own brain becomes possessed by the awful goblins of work and and creativity. Gone are the easy nights to settling into a chair with a game controller in your hands. Where you could once forget the clock and let a Sunday slip away, now ideas keep marching around in your mind, unwilling to give you a moment’s peace.

In reality, ConBravo! has mentally plagued me not because of its actual portents, but because there’s been so much time between the start and finish lines. It’s not even here yet and I feel like I have to scramble. There are holes to be filled, and the long time spent planning has only made those holes look bigger than they are.

When July 4th comes to a close and my Yankee friends are done with their fireworks, I’m going to sit down and ask myself a big question: What am I doing the rest of the year? ConBravo! can’t eat me like this again. I’m going to have an actual schedule for everything, with proper estimates and accounting on the table. There’s going to be a drawer in a filing cabinet dedicated to this stuff. It should exist right now, but it doesn’t. Maybe it will by the time the show opens. I don’t know.

Until then, I’m going to watch a few more hairs turn grey.